


I’m not sure about a lot of things. (But I’m sure about you)

by StoriesAboutUs



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24200710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoriesAboutUs/pseuds/StoriesAboutUs
Summary: Lena has made mistakes, Kara has too, but they find common ground in their love even when it’s not easy, when it’s not simple.A HSAU*the summary sucks
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 5
Kudos: 76





	I’m not sure about a lot of things. (But I’m sure about you)

Kara can’t believe her life, can’t believe that she’s naked with a blanket nested on top of her, in her sturdy tree house, listening to soft music in the background, an unwatched movie paused at the beginning on her laptop, candles all around and with the most popular girl on her arms.

“I’m not sure about a lot of things.” Kara starts, a smile on her face forming each time that she sees Lena smiling at her and leaving feathery kisses on her cheek. She takes her hand and kisses the back of her palm. “But I’m sure about you.”

Lena laughs at how cheesy she is, but Kara wouldn’t have it any other way, just seeing her smile, just seeing her is worth it.

She can’t believe being this in love with her, but she is.

“I love you Lena.”

“I’m sure about you too,” Lena says. It’s not the ‘I love you’ Kara expected but it’s enough, it’s Lena’s own way of saying it.

Kara can’t believe her life. She can’t believe being this…happy.

She just hopes it lasts

She hopes they last.

She hopes and hopes, and she doesn’t remember the first thing her sister taught her once upon a time. “Hope, hope is for dreamers and they’re not dreamers.”

* * *

She should have known better than to fall in love with the most popular girl in school, while she’s no one or at least not someone worthy of spending time with someone like her, she feels like she could be, just for Lena.

She should have known better, but she doesn’t care at this point.

They fall into categories, everyone does. She’s not excluded from the stereotypes or the natural selection of things.

She’s a geek and Lena is the captain cheerleader.

Their love story makes sense, it always does, but in this case, it doesn’t.

It doesn’t because they all think that cheerleaders are meant to be with quarterbacks, football players, the residents bad boys or girls but never with the nerds.

It’s already old fashion and both Kara and Lena try not to subscribe to it even though it’s what they are.

It’s inevitable when they do subscribe to the ideas of their peers. 

Still, Kara shouldn’t care, but all the secrecy, all the “impossible to be together” type of scenario, all the behind closed doors should have warned her, but she knows she’s the only one to blame.

She also blames those green sad eyes. Those piercing green eyes that now stare at her with sorrow and defeat as she lets her squad tease and mock her overzealousness in academics or the way that she fumbles with her things and her glasses.

Lena’s eyes don’t change, and she doesn’t want them to. She only stares and stares, doesn’t do anything else other than stare.

Kara wants to remember how they are now so that in the future she doesn’t feel so bad for breaking things off, because this is breaking her.

She won’t forget.

She won’t. (She will.)

* * *

“What do you want?” Kara regards her with coldness, and it’s like Lena thinks she doesn’t deserve that when she does.

Lena is pulling flowers from her backpack and puts it in the floor of Kara’s room where other things that Lena has sent during the course of the week are. Lena takes a few steps towards her and Kara lets her.

She always will.

“Would you run if I said you?” Lena takes her hand and kisses the back of it while Kara blushes hard and rolls her eyes at her until she watches her curiously and with one breath she asks. “The better question is, if you would catch me if I did?”

“Always, Kara.”

Kara wishes it was true, but nothing last to see its end.

Nothing but disappointment and heartache.

* * *

It’s fitting that she’s holding Lena close, swaying gently to the music, in their tree house where they first kissed, where they first made love, when she asks her something that it was expected.

“So what exactly are you trying to say?” She feels Lena’s heartbeat go haywire against her chest and there’s the sad green eyes again when she realizes fully the extent of Kara’s spiel of how she feels about her. 

“Will you be my girlfriend?” Kara asks, her voice breaking a little from the shyness and fear of being turned down which is what Lena is about to do when she opens and closes her mouth, as if she were debating with herself.

Is not that she doesn’t want her, of course she does, she knows it by the way that Lena holds her close when she’s about to leave the bed, or when Lena asks for one more kiss, one more song, one more hug. She knows and knows but it bears no meaning now. 

Not when she can see it, in Lena’s eyes, the fear of expectations.

When Kara realizes what is going to happen, she takes a step back from the embrace. Lena’s quiet sob doesn’t even help. “I can’t, Kara, we can’t.”

Kara’s smile disappears, tears appear, and the warmth of her hand is inexistent as Kara walks away without saying a word.

* * *

They don’t talk for days, months even. Lena somehow let’s her know that she’s counting because her days only consist in watching the clock pass by with the constant reminder of what she has lost.

Lena still sees her in class, in the courtyard, in games, in her favorite restaurant, and with someone new.

The last straw for Lena it seems, is that Imra has brought her along to her party and she’s showing Kara off to everyone including Lena and it’s too much, she can tell.

She texted Kara to meet her in her room and that’s where it all started again. 

“Kara stop.” Lena’s holding her arm, she’s stopping from leaving the room and she hates that she still feels the need to hear her out, to reach out too.

“For what?”

“I see the way you look at her. I know because you used to look at me that way.” Lena rambles on and Kara rolls her eyes. “And what do you want me to do huh?”

“To stop it.” Lena commands something she couldn’t and shouldn’t have done.

Kara shakes her head and her frown deepens. “No, you stop it Lena.” She takes the drink from her hands and fortunately it’s empty, so she throws outside of the window.

“What do you want me to stop? Stop drinking? Stop meddling in your life? To stop loving you just as you easily did?”

“Just stop it Lena.” This time she means it, all of it.

She has to stop because otherwise she won’t know what to do if she doesn’t.

Lena drops her hold on her arm to instead grab her face with both of her hands. The sweet scent that she has come to associate with Lena is lost in the hard smell of liquor and smoke.

“What the hell is your problem?” Kara fumes. She pushes herself out of Lena’s grip and Lena lets her go.

“My problem? My problem is that I- you’re you! And you make me happy. You make me laugh. You’re smart and so honest. You’re different. And I just can’t stand seeing you with someone else.”

“Well too bad, I don’t care what you think, or other people think for that matter.” Something that Lena should do if she wants to be happy and free as she claims she wants to be, instead of this broken mess.

“Kara, I love you.” Lena pleads. It’s the first time she has said those words. She has waited too long to hear them, but now it’s a little too late.

But she can’t deny the way they ingrain in her heart, after all this time.

“Don’t Lena, just don’t.” Since she didn’t ran away, Lena is back in her personal space, carefully inching closer and closer until she’s just a breath away from her lips. Kara’s emotions tumble down and there’s a sigh that turns into a sob and Lena is holding her in her arms just like she used to.

“I love you and it’s killing me. It’s killing me that I can’t do anything about it.” Lena kisses her neck softly while they stay embraced.

“Lena, you broke me, I can’t do this anymore.”

It’s been a constant push and pull between them. 

Kara untangles herself slowly from Lena’s grip and takes a step back. She can see the rage bubbling up in Lena’s eyes now. “So is this it? You’re giving up that easily?”

“Don’t act like I didn’t fight for you!”

“You didn’t.” Lena says matter of fact and it’s too much for Kara.

“I didn’t?” Kara scoffs, because otherwise she would’ve cried, she would’ve screamed, she would’ve alerted everyone outside that she Kara Danvers fought and fought for a future with Lena Luthor.

“Do you want me to tell you all the things I did for you? All the things I endured for you? All the things that I didn’t, couldn’t say because I was afraid that one wrong thing could lead to you leaving me? You’re telling me that I didn’t fought for us when I told you repeatedly that I wanted you, just you! Or when I told you I loved you and you didn’t say it back!?” She can see it pains Lena. She knows that out of the two of them Lena has all the blame here but it’s like Lena wants to dig deeper and deeper into the wound.

“Then why was it so easy for you to leave me?”

“Easy?” Kara scoffs. “You know what? It was easy because you broke my heart. You humiliated me, you made me fall in love with you when you knew that we wouldn’t be together so yeah it was easy.”

Lena nods with tears streaming down her face, she seems to accept her fate even before Kara has the chance to say what she has been feeling, what she has felt and what she will feel until there’s no more of her to give.

“You know what I hate the most? Is that I still love you.” That makes Lena give her the same sad smile she has been giving her since they stopped. “Those aren’t exclusive.”

“For me they are.”

“So what now?” She hates that there’s hope in Lena’s tone.

“I don’t know.” Kara knows but she’s too afraid to say it and Lena understands.

“I think I need you to say it.” Lena looks at her like she won’t let her go.

“Say what?” Kara’s tone is full of desperation.

“That is over. Because every time I look at you, I forget that I am not supposed to feel this way.”

“I told you it is.”

“Say it again.” Lena dares her. “Come on.”

There’s a mantra in her head that screams don’t, don’t, don’t.

“Face it Lena, we would never have worked.” It’s not the words she dared her to say but they still hurt, even more.

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“You just have to accept the fact that it is what it is.” Lena shakes her head and it’s infuriating how much she wants to say that she loves her but there’s so much that she’s holding back, and in the end, the lies win, she dares to give up.

“And what’s that?”

“We’re nothing.” Kara yells.

Time stands still and there’s a window of opportunity to take it all back, but Lena’s green irises turn black and misty and there’s already tears springing down her face and Kara won’t take it back now.

“Fuck you Kara.”

“No, fuck you.”

And they’re back to square one. Kara tries to leave again, and Lena blocks the door and with raised hands in sign of peace she mutters an apology.

Kara has the apology ready to go too. “I’m sorry too.”

“So what now?” Kara sits on the bed and Lena follows her. There’s quite a distance between them and it feels like the distance that they created before all of this. So close to touch but yet so far to reach.

“I don’t want us to be nothing.” Lena says, her plead is loud and clear and Kara doesn’t want that either. “Yeah.”

There’s silence but the music seeps through the open window and the cracks on the door.

“Friends?” Kara poses it as a question, and it sends them into a fit of laughter.

Lena helps a loose hair be tucked behind her ear. Kara wishes she could control her blush, but alas she can’t.

“I should get back to Imra.” Kara whispers between them and Lena nods softly.

“Yeah you should.” She doesn’t make a move to leave and neither does Lena who leans in closer.

“Yeah, I’m going.” 

“Ok.”

“Ok.”

“Hey, Lena, have you seen-“ Imra appears and they both back away from each other and Kara is instantly at Imra’s side, ignoring the glare that Lena was sending the other brunette or the way that Imra’s frown is visible and her smile has vanished and there’s questions at the tip of her tongue, questions that she doesn’t answer. 

* * *

There’s a certain shift in their dynamic.

Lena doesn’t care anymore.

No, not about her, she will always care about Kara, but now she doesn’t care that she’s actively searching her in the quad, she doesn’t care that she gets confused looks when she approaches the blonde and starts conversations or stays with her, that she offers her rides to her house, that she invites her to parties, to games, to everything and she definitely doesn’t care that she has alienated herself from her friends to choose to stay with Kara.

And she doesn’t care that she finally looks somewhat happy but there’s something that’s holding her back, Kara can tell.

Well, she knows. She knows it’s the fact that she’s still with Imra or well was. 

“You look gloomy.” Kara just looks up and scoffs, there’s a knowing smirk on the brunette’s face and she knows it’s because she must have heard the news. “Hello to you too.”

“So you ended things with her?” Lena smirks and grabs the sandwich on Kara’s tray. Kara gives her a glare for stealing her food but other than that doesn’t say anything about it. “I want to say she ended things with me.”

Lena scoffs. “She’s a fool.”

“I’m starting to think I’m the problem.” Kara sighs.

“I think you are.” Lena says. She dodges a fry coming her way from Kara when she realizes how it must have sounded. “I mean, you’re too good for anyone.”

“I’m not.”

“You were for me.”

“That’s true,” Kara jokes and it’s Lena’s turn to scowl and send a fry her way that she dodges easily while laughing.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, we were just friends.”

Lena raises a single perfect eyebrow in question and in a jest, she drawls the word ‘right’ until it’s Kara shoving her to let her know that she’s serious. 

“I mean it.”

“Well, I saw you guys play tonsil hockey every day after practice and you call that friends?”

“You-“

“Kara…don’t try to downplay it. I know.”

“I don’t want to be here anymore.” Kara finally confesses, and Lena stands up abruptly and offers her hand.

Kara watches her confused but there’s no hesitation in Lena’s smile. “Come on, come with me.”

So she takes her hand.

She always will.

* * *

Lena’s idea of playing hooky is go to their tree house and buying a copious amount of food that she knows Kara will be the only one eating eat and also booze that Lena will be the only one drinking it.

But they both partake, and Kara knows she’s full of alcohol and food.

Lena’s full of food and Kara. It’s much later that Kara realizes that Lena didn’t drink at all.

Staring at the ceiling, taking a few sips of the vodka cranberry Smirnoff, and hearing Lena laugh is making her better.

“I never knew how it all started.” Lena asks her and she turns to see her, but Lena’s eyes are trained on the tiny little crack on the ceiling, not once turning to see Kara.

“You never asked.”

“I didn’t want to know.”

“And why would you want to know now?”

“Because maybe it will help you.” Lena says and she sounds sure that will help. Kara’s not sure but she will entertain this, even though she thinks is a bad idea.

“She saw me crying in the bathroom, the day after we-“

“That I ended things.”

“Yeah, and she was just going through the same with Mike, so she offered to hear my story only if I heard hers.”

This time, Lena looks at her, with the question on the tip of her tongue. Kara knows what she’s going to ask before she even utters a word. “No, I didn’t tell her your name. But after the party, she figured it out.” Lena seems satisfied with this answer and not even a little bit anxious of knowing that Imra knows about them. Although, after these couple of weeks, everyone has already made their own conclusions and Lena doesn’t seem fazed by it.

The talk they had on Lena’s room, did change things.

“So who started it?”

“She did, she was trying to forget Mike and I thought I could forget you.” Lena has turned to her side and she’s staring at her while Kara tries to avoid her stare. 

“Did it work?” Lena asks and pushes a stray hair out of the way and Kara shivers at the contact. She finally looks at Lena’s way and she could see the smile on the brunette’s face. One that tells her that she knows the answer to that already.

“No.”

This seems to spur Lena on and in a blink of an eye Lena is in her space and she’s inching closer and closer until their lips touch gently.

“Lena we can’t.” Kara pushes Lena away, and Lena pouts. Kara stands up and Lena follows. “Why not?”

“Because you’re drunk.” Kara doesn’t look at her as she takes the bottle that she now sees it’s almost full.

“So if I wasn’t would you kiss me back?”

“Try it sober.” Kara wants Lena to remember it. The brunette takes the bottle from her hands and puts it in the little table at the corner.

“Are you drunk?” Lena asks instead.

“No.”

Lena stands in front of her. “I haven’t had a drink since that night.”

“What? Really?”

“Kara, I want this.” Lena has a soft smile on her face. Kara is rolling her eyes but the upturn on her mouth is visible. Lena has her arms wrapped around Kara’s neck while Kara has hers around her middle. “Tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“That it’s over.” Lena says instead and Kara laughs when she thinks about how many times, they had the same conversation.

“What I can tell you is that we’ve been over this.”

“But this time I’m going to hear it.”

“Why now and not then?”

“You’re stalling.”

“And you’re fishing for questions that I don’t have a define answer to.” Lena raises her eyebrow in defiance and Kara chuckles. “Ok, it’s over.”

“Look in my eyes and say it.” She dares Kara and the brunette first instinct is to look away.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I still love you.”

“Was that so hard?” Lena smiles, her heart beats faster and her cheeks blush. Finally, she can finally breathe.

Kara rolls her eyes and lets out a huff of annoyance. It must have been hard after all she made her go through.

“It was, it is. Lena I’m scared.” She finally looks into her eyes so Lena can see how scared she is to give her another chance.

“I know, me too.” Honesty is the best option. “But I promise you that I won’t hurt you.”

Kara nods but it’s not enough. “Lena promise me:” She repeats, and Lena honors it as many time she asks for it. She takes her cheeks in her hands and with her thumb she traces affectionate circles on her cheekbones.

“I promise Kara. I love you.” Kara nods against her pressed forehead.

“I love you too.”

“You know what Kara, I’m not sure of a lot of things but there’s one thing I’m sure of and that’s you.”


End file.
